Gimme Some Sugar

Well, someone in Atlanta pissed off Mother Nature and she took her revenge. Flooding - and two years ago, drought. And when I was looking for someone to clean the gutters (24 inches of rain is a terrific way to find out if it needs to be done), I came across an ad that mentioned "French drain cleaning," which sounds really personal.

No progress on home maintenance and I'm working frantically on a Federal grant application for work, so I've been a smidge remiss wth updating stinkycheese. Oh, and I'm totally obsessed with home decor and furniture refinishing right now and it's more time-consuming than I realized. I'm the Martha Stewart of Spray Paint these days and I have fawning blogger-girl-crushes on Centsational Girl and whoever writes the DIY Showcase.

Ahem.

As mentioned earlier, Tat has a terrific opportunity to start from scratch and assemble a basic kitchen. Hair stylist, pinup model, tattoo afficionado - she really doesn't describe herself as "domestic." But we all gotta eat - even pinup models - and she wants to be able to throw something together without being dependent on the Lean Cuisine selection.

She asked for a What Tat Needs For A Basic Kitchen writeup, and here 'tis. I'm pulling pictures from Target because they're nationwide and usually have some very affordable options. If you have a Bed, Bath, and Beyond in your area, that's also a good choice and they constantly have 20% off coupons out there.

THE STUFF THAT GETS HOT

What's the deal with the "Gimme Some Sugar" title? It's this - get a 4- or 5-pound bag of sugar (or rice or flour or whatever) from the grocery aisle. You need to make sure that the handle(s) of whatever you're buying are firmly attached, so before you buy anything put the bag of sugar in the pot or pan and see how secure those handles feel.

Also, while you want pieces that have a nice heft, you don't want anything so heavy that you're in danger of dropping it while it's hot. My still-battlescarred dogs would agree. You also want a nice thick bottom on both a skillet and a saucepan. A thin bottom will scorch your food, and it will burn on the bottom and still be cold/raw on top.

A word about lids - clear glass or plastic lids steam up in half a heartbeat and, at that point, they're no different from a regular, opaque lid. Plus they're a pain to clean. Just sayin'.

A small skillet (about 8 inches across), also called a saute pan, is essential. You know, I use mine so much I may get a second.

Non-stick is often easier for cleanup; non-nonstick will give a better, browned crust if that's what you're looking for. Cast iron is probably more maintenance than you want to do if you're a casual, I-just-wanna-eat cook.

Expect to spend between $15 and $30 for a good one. DO NOT cheap out on a no-name non-stick skillet at Family Dollar or Big Lots, because the non-stick coating will, sooner or later, flake off into your food. The one pictured, which may be the one I have, is the Farberware 8" Professional Skillet for $16.99.

What can you do with one? They're perfect for fried or scrambled eggs, a hamburger, a pork chop or chicken breast, cooking some chopped veggies. If you cook for a one-person household, you've got to have one.

A large skillet - same as for the small skillet, and it's terrific for stirfry or making taco meat or a nice big piece of fish, but you don't need to spend the money unless you frequently cook for 3 or more people or cook extra to freeze. If you almost always cook for one, the purchase can wait.

A saucepan - also, as a guy on Amtrak once realized, called a "pot." These are perfect for
boiling water for rice or pasta, making hot chocolate, heating up tomato sauce or canned veggies.

My medium-size saucepan is a 2-quart, and it's the one I use most often. My li'l one-quart is fantastic for my new carb-conscious serving sizes of pasta, making oatmeal, or heating up soup for one. Be sure to get one with a lid so that you can trap the steam and cook faster.

Some lids have steam vents. Isn't "don't touch a hot pot on the stove" about as basic as it can get? I mean, my dogs know that - even the dumb one. And yet, what would you do with a steam vent? Poke it open and closed when it is clearly so hot it's producing steam. No thanks. You can just rest the lid mostly-on-but-a-little-offset to release steam.

Casserole dishes don't have to be for "one can of Campbell's Cream of Some Icky Stuff" dishes. They're for (yay!) baked mac & cheese, lasagne or ziti, and can even do a small roast (2-pound turkey breast, for example, or a small ham).

LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE and be sure to get one with handles! My very chic white casserole dishes are beautiful but terrifying when trying to get them out of the oven.

Searching Target's website for "casserole" brought up some really pricey options, and some less expensive ones that I wouldn't recommend. But searching for "Pyrex" brought up this terrific option for all of $8.50. I still have and use my grandmother's Pyrex dishes.

And a search for "Corningware", another have-it-for-life company, brought up this very nice 4-quart casserole; be careful with Corningware, though, because of the handle issue.
We're not going to get into baking or anything fancy just yet. There's a whole lot more on the market, but if you want the bare essentials, this is it.

As for gadgetry, most of which I'm pretty sure doesn't require pictures -

• At least one wooden spoon. They never get hot and they don't scratch non-stick.



• At least two pot holders - your mileage may vary, but I can't get a good grip on anything with those sheets of silicone, no matter how cute they are.



• A decent chef's knife - it will be labelled "chef's knife" and it should be very, very sharp. It's actually more dangerous to cut with a dull knife, since you apply excessive pressure to it and can't control it. These can quickly get expensive, and I say they're worth every penny. I also like this Oneida knife, and its li'l buddy - $19.99 for the set. But if you have the funds and want to get a really good knife, go for a Santoku like this Henckels for $29.99.


• A cutting board - never, ever, ever cut on glass. Spring for a bamboo cutting board; it doesn't have to be one of the ten-pounders, either. We have at least 4 in the house, and I use the little (4" x 6") quite a lot to slice one tomato or some herbs or strawberries or whatever.
  
• A digital meat thermometer - tremendously important, especially if you're new to this world of "food" and you're afraid you're going to kill your dinner guests with improperly cooked food (I swear I still feel that way about canning - "Merry Christmas! It's botulism - I made it myself!"). The $10 to $15 you'll spend on one of these babies will be well, well worth it. And hold onto the card that says pork should be X degrees and turkey should be Y degrees and so on.


• A few glass or metal mixing bowls - plastic can hold odors and stain (yes, I mean YOU, spaghetti sauce). If you go with metal make sure it's weighted at the bottom, or else you'll give it a stir and send it flying across the counter. From, um, what I've heard.


• Measuring cups and spoons


• Grater - I can't find mine on the Target site, but this is close - mine doesn't have a little boxy-thing on the top and for darn sure it wasn't pushing $20. It takes up much, much less room than a box grater, and I've been known to put mine on top of a saucepan full of pasta and drain the water into the sink. I LOVE things that have more than one use!


• If you don't have one on your stove, a kitchen timer is essential. Many a would've-been-terrific meal took a Hefty vacation after someone said "Oh, I'll just remember to take it out in 45 minutes."
  
  

And since I PROMISED a recipe, and the sugar title has me in a mood for dessert (like I need any prompting) here 'tis:

Hazelnut Crinkle Cookies

3 cups all-purpose flour

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1 11-ounce jar Nutella (also known as "nectar of the gods" or "chocogasm")

1/4 cup shortening (butter or Crisco)

1 1/3 cup sugar

1 tsp vanilla

2 eggs

1/3 cup milk

1/2 cup chopped, toasted hazelnuts

2 cups finely chopped hazelnuts

Powdered sugar

Stir flour, baking powder, and salt in a mixing bowl - set aside.

Beat Nutella and shortening. Add sugar, beat until fluffy. Add vanilla and eggs - beat until combined.

Alternately add flour mixture and milk. Str in 1/2 cup chopped hazelnuts. Cover and chill at least one hour.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Shape dough into 1- or 1 1/2-inch balls. Roll in finely chopped nuts, then roll in powdered sugar. Place 2 inches apart on lightly greased cookie sheet. Bake 8 - 10 minutes, or until cookie surface has cracked and set.

What is this "cooking" you speak of?

I'll cut to the chase.

I've heard from three of you so far who don't cook but want to step-by-step learn how to put a week's worth of dinners on the table. Nothing fancy, just tasty. And I'm soooo flattered you've included Nostinkycheese in your online reading if you don't cook!

Stay tuned - every Sunday, online, we'll do a Beginner Dish with plenty of instructions and no exotic ingredients or specialized equipment. The ingredient list will be posted every Saturday.

Tomorrow's recipe will be Baked Chicken with White Beans and Tomatoes . You'll need bacon (turkey bacon is fine), chicken, onions, canned stewed tomatoes, and canned small white beans ("cannellini"). Do not use dried beans as they require a good 12 hours of soaking.

To take the pressure off, also pick up a frozen pizza. That way if the dish doesn't turn out, you've still got something for dinner.

And if you're just getting familiar with that room in the house where you chill your white wine and store those "mixing bowl" things your grandmother gave you when you got your first apartment, here are a few things I've found helpful and some that I ended up tossing:


MONEY I WASTED

1. Salad spinner - it took up way too much room in my cabinet and I just don't care enough about dry salad greens to justify the space and cleaning the numerous parts of the damn thing. If you adore salad dressing and don't want it the tiniest bit diluted by water clinging to greens then a salad spinner may be worth it for you.




2. The Gitmo Herb-icide - Holy hell, this thing is scary. It looks like four or five mini-pizza wheels spinning on the same axel (picture of the $35 Williams-Sonoma version above). Its alleged intent is to help, not hurt, the cook by speeding up the herb-mincing process - lay your herbs on the cutting board and roll this razor-sharp instrument of destruction over them, leaving finely-chopped herbal carnage in its wake.

It didn't really work that way for me. It smooshed some herbs and pushed others forward bulldozer-style, but that's not the problem.

Clean it. HA! I dare you! Don't beribbon your sponge. Don't unwittingly attempt suicide or digital amputation at your sink. Don't leave gunk on the parts of the inner wheels that you can't see. Don't buy into the drama as it smirks at you.

Sleep with the lights on, it's not finished. I had to figure out how to safely dispose of my gunked-up Cheney-designed utensil. Medical sharps container? Didn't have one handy. Goodwill? No, inflicting it on someone else wasn't the answer. Besides, little kids run all over that store brandishing whatever they find on the shelves. I can't live with being the indirect cause of the Thrift Store Massacre and the resulting Arlo Guthrie song.

Ultimately I wrapped it in most of the Sunday paper, put that mass in several layers of plastic, taped it up and wrote "DANGER! SHARP!" on it with permanent marker. That may not have been enough.

3. Potato ricer - not dangerous, just annoyingly large and cumbersome for no real benefit that I could see, and no other use besides mashed potatoes.

REALLY HELPFUL

1. Digital thermometer - you can get one for about $10 at Target and they are a godsend for grilling and cooking meat or poultry. One of the reasons chicken and turkey can end up dry is because it often doesn't look quite done, even though it has reached fully-cooked temperature. This is more advanced, but I also use mine to check the water temperature when I use yeast.

Note: the difference between a digital candy thermometer and a digital non-candy thermometer is the range of temperatures it measures. Candy thermometers will measure over 250 degrees; since most meat is fuly cooked at 180 or less, non-candy thermometers usually max out at 200 degrees. You probably can't use an all-around or meat thermometer for candy, but you can use a candy thermometer for anything. If you don't ever plan to make candy - which is a royal PITA to clean up - just get whatever strikes your fancy. Either is fine for checking meats.

2. Wooden spoons - these aren't given nearly enough credit in today's high-tech world, are they? They don't scratch non-stick cookware. They don't get hot, even if you leave one in a pot of soup or spaghetti sauce for an hour or two. They happily take a dunk in soapy water with no special cleaning or maintenance. I have one with a flat bottom (or top, depending on how you look at it) that scrapes the bottom of the skillet or saucepan really well. It's from Crate & Barrel and was $5 or less.

3. Immersion blender, also called a stick blender - cookbook authors think it's a terrific idea to ladle hot soup into a blender - without spilling the soup or burning yourself - put the top on (which doesn't allow the steam to escape and that can't be good), then whirl the soup into a frenzy before pouring the now-pureed soup into yet another pot.

Ummmm, no.

To smooth out soups and gravies just plug in your stick blender near the stove, immerse the whirly parts and hit the "on" switch - in that order. Move the blender around in a slow stir, and hit the "off" switch before you pull the blender out of the liquid. Unplug and rinse. I had an inexpensive stick blender for about 5 years before it gave out. After an appropriate mourning (and saving) period I prepared to buy a Kitchen Aid version, but Sweetie found an old Braun for $4 at a yard sale. That was a good 5 years ago and it still works beautifully.