Friday, March 18, 2011

Everything's Coming Up Roses

Tulips, actually. My favorite.

When I experiment I don't want to risk dropping $15 on one recipe, you know? For a while I've wanted to throw a whole chicken in the crockpot, but what if it tasted like sauteed latex? With a side of whatever food poisoning comes from chicken? Or worse???

[Side note - never, ever ask an imaginative person "What's the worst that can happen?" It doesn't give us perspective. It's an invitation to roam over wild idea pastures and peek under Scary Story rocks. Not good.]

Anyhoodle, the other night I was at the gym getting my gluteus more minimus and ran (As if. I drove.) over to the Publix right afterwards.

Anyhoodle again, they had started marking down the perishables that were still good but had overstayed their welcome. YES. I grabbed a roasting chicken for $3.32.

And that, my friends, is a chicken to take chances with. To throw caution to the winds, to wrap in nontraditional spices, to allow a wine flirtation.

Can you tell I don't get out much at this time of year?

The chicken was terrific. So good, in fact, I would even spend real money for the chicken next time, and I don't often throw that phrase around. I CAN'T WAIT to get the stock from this little gem.

[Speaking of stock, this is GENIUS. Get a gallon-sized Ziploc bag. Write "Stock - No Broccoli" on it. Keep it in the freezer and add whatever vegetable trimmings you have - green bean ends, onion ends, carrot ends, etc. and no broccoli or brussels sprouts - as you create them and save them for making stock. So take THAT, Miss Nine-Year-Old "you can compost that."]

Many thanks to for this one. I used kosher salt, which turned out fine. If you're using regular table salt take it down to 3 teaspoons.

Whole Chicken Crockpot Recipe


  • 4 teaspoons salt

  • 2 teaspoons paprika

  • 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

  • 1 teaspoon onion powder

  • 1 teaspoon thyme

  • 1 teaspoon white pepper (why white? No idea. I don't have any.)

  • 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

  • 1/2 teaspoon black pepper

  • 1 large roasting chicken

  • 1 cup chopped onion (optional)

1. In a small bowl, combine the spices.

2.  Remove any giblets from chicken.

3.  Rub the spice mixture on the chicken.  If you're prepping way in advance you can cover with plastic and refrigerate overnight... but that's not usually the case in this house.

4.  Put chopped onion in the bottom of the slow cooker, place chicken on top.  No liquid is needed.

5.  Cook on low for 4 - 8 hours.